Archive | September, 2011

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

12 Sep

The truth really is that no one can make you feel inferior WITHOUT you letting them.

It’s a crappy truth, but literally everyone has an agenda. I was hardpressed to learn this lesson but no matter what, I believe that it is one of the most important lessons to learn in life. Its wild because this applies to everyone in every situation and the sad truth is that it is hard to find those right people to surround yourself with.

The path to getting there and learning who you can and cannot surround yourself with begins with learning to stand up for yourselves and/or  don’t allow people to see the certain side of you that you may feel is vulnerable. This is the key to all personal interaction. Be political in your approach. It is not wise to get too far into a interaction at work when there is a possibility it may backfire and all of the sudden you are in the middle. Same idea with acquaintences, same idea with new and budding male/female sexual interests. Guard yourself. If they want to learn, they can work for it. Many aspects of yourself are best left as mysteries. Weak individuals are like fleas, they prey on the vulnerable and are really fucking hard to get rid of once they have manifested and laid their eggs.

On the same note, realize who those people are and observe more closely their interactions with you and with others. Weak posing as strong. Lying about small things to hide their own truths that they are ashamed of. Once you notice them….they are everywhere.

 Now, there are so many varying degrees of this sentiment,  but I feel like I can say this to you all because I have personally been taken advantage of so many times. I finally realized that it wasn’t just the people who I was in the situation doing these things to ME, but it was ME who let it all happen by not guarding myself one way or another. Whether it be between the girl who I presumed to be my best friend who got over on me so hard I didn’t know what hit me to the guy who I hooked up with unwillingly because I was drunk and vulnerable. In this life, you have to be careful.

 I have told many a friend the truth about a situation where they needed to take a real motherfucker roll call and watch who didn’t raise their hand. Subsequently, I am the friend they stop coming to for advice. It happens over and over again, but I refuse to just be a lending ear and watch someone I care about go through bullshit (usually with some douche who is taking advantage) and let it happen. People don’t want to hear the truth and I am not the type to sugarcoat and that is why you should heed my words. This isn’t opinion, this is my point of view on a phenomenon that happens every single day.

I go on this rant but it is still difficult for me to have confidence SOMETIMES when it comes to personal situations as well. I am always learning and inadvertantly testing myself.  If I listened to my own advice all of the time, I would never have any issues and lord knows I do. Anyway,  my boyfriend and I would have broken up weeks ago (due to certain situations I won’t go into because I am trying to be above it) if I had stuck strictly to my advice in a black and white way.  But there is always gray area within personal relationships. When love is involved it is VERY hard to see clearly and like I just said, not everything is black and white. Listen to your gut when it comes to the gray area of life. 

I would also  like to say that it  is never easy to realize who is on your side and who isn’t. Sometimes its about who has their own agenda and whose plan of which you are merely collateral damage.

 

I want to end this blog on a note of positivity and say that life is a building process and we are all learning. I want to remind you that I am writing this to you in hopes (in reference to what I said earlier) that at least one person heeds my stories and makes a different decision. As women, we, by default, are viewed as weak and are exploited all of the time. You must make it a practice to STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS ( just like  in the words of Robert Nesta Marley.)

“Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses.”

– Madame Marie du Deffand